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[page 438:]
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SOME WORDS WITH A MUMMY.
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THE symposium
of the preceding evening had been a little too much for my nerves. I
had
a wretched head-ache, and was desperately drowsy. Instead of going out,
therefore,
to spend the evening, as I had proposed, it occurred to me that I could
not do a wiser thing than just eat a mouthful of supper and go
immediately
to bed.
A light supper, of course. I am exceedingly
fond of
Welsh
rabbit.
More
than a pound at once, however, may not at all times be advisable.
Still,
there can be no material objection to two. And really between two and
three,
there is merely a single unit of difference. I ventured, perhaps, upon
four. My wife will have it five; — but, clearly, she has confounded
two
very distinct affairs. The abstract number, five, I am willing to
admit;
but, concretely, it has reference to bottles of Brown Stout, without
which,
in the way of condiment, Welsh rabbit is to be eschewed.
Having thus concluded a frugal meal, and donned my
night-cap, with
the
serene hope of enjoying it till noon the next day, I placed my head
upon
the pillow, and, through the aid of a capital conscience, fell into a
profound
slumber forthwith.
But when were the hopes of humanity fulfilled? I
could
not have
completed
my third snore when there came a furious ringing at the street-door
bell,
and then an impatient thumping at the knocker, which awakened me at
once.
In a minute afterward, and while I was still rubbing my eyes, my wife
thrust
in my face a note, from my old friend, Doctor Ponnonner. It ran thus: [page
439:]
"Come to me, by all means, my dear good friend, as
soon
as you
receive
this. Come and help us to rejoice. At last, by long persevering
diplomacy,
I have gained the assent of the Directors of the City Museum, to my
examination
of the Mummy — you know the one I mean. I have permission to unswathe
it and open it, if desirable. A few friends only will be present —
you,
of course. The Mummy is now at my house, and we shall begin to unroll
it
at eleven to-night.
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"Yours,
ever,
"PONNONNER."
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By the time I had reached the "Ponnonner," it struck
me
that I was
as
wide awake as a man need be. I leaped out of bed in an ecstacy,
overthrowing
all in my way; dressed myself with a rapidity truly marvellous; and set
off, at the top of my speed, for the Doctor's.
There I found a very eager company assembled. They
had
been awaiting
me with much impatience; the Mummy was extended upon the dining-table;
and the moment I entered, its examination was commenced.
It was one of a pair brought, several years
previously,
by Captain
Arthur
Sabretash, a cousin of Ponnonner's from a tomb near Eleithias, in the
Lybian
Mountains, a considerable distance above Thebes on the Nile. The
grottoes
at this point, although less magnificent than the Theban sepulchres,
are
of higher interest, on account of affording more numerous illustrations
of the private life of the Egyptians. The chamber from which our
specimen
was taken, was said to be very rich in such illustrations — the walls
being
completely covered with fresco paintings and bas-reliefs, while
statues,
vases, and Mosaic work of rich patterns, indicated the vast wealth of
the
deceased.
The treasure had been deposited in the Museum
precisely
in the same
condition in which Captain Sabretash had found it; — that is to say,
the
coffin had not been disturbed. For eight years it had thus stood,
subject
only externally to public inspection. We had now, therefore, the
complete
Mummy at our disposal; and to those who are aware how very rarely the
unransacked
antique reaches our shores, it will be evident, at once that we had
great
reason to congratulate ourselves upon our good fortune.
Approaching the table, I saw on it a large box, or
case,
nearly
seven
feet long, and perhaps three feet wide, by two feet and a [page
440:] half deep. It
was oblong — not coffin[[-]]shaped. The material was at first supposed
to
be the wood of the sycamore (platanus,) but, upon cutting into
it, we
found
it to be pasteboard, or, more properly, papier maché,
composed of
papyrus.
It was thickly ornamented with paintings, representing funeral scenes,
and other mournful subjects — interspersed among which, in every
variety
of position, were certain series of hieroglyphical characters,
intended,
no doubt, for the name of the departed. By good luck, Mr. Gliddon
formed
one of our party; and he had no difficulty in translating the letters,
which were simply phonetic, and represented the word, Allamistakeo.
We had some difficulty in getting this case open
without
injury; but,
having at length accomplished the task, we came to a second,
coffin-shaped,
and very considerably less in size than the exterior one, but
resembling
it precisely in every other respect. The interval between the two was
filled
with resin, which had, in some degree, defaced the colors of the
interior
box.
Upon opening this latter, (which we did quite
easily,) we
arrived at
a third case, also coffin-shaped, and varying from the second one in no
particular, except in that of its material, which was cedar, and still
emitted the peculiar and highly aromatic odor of that wood. Between the
second and the third case there was no interval — the one fitting
accurately
within the other.
Removing the third case, we discovered and took out
the
body itself.
We had expected to find it, as usual, enveloped in frequent rolls, or
bandages,
of linen; but, in place of these, we found a sort of sheath, made of
papyrus,
and coated with a layer of plaster, thickly gilt and painted. The
paintings
represented subjects connected with the various supposed duties of the
soul, and its presentation to different divinities, with numerous
identical
human figures, intended, very probably, as portraits of the persons
embalmed.
Extending from head to foot, was a columnar, or perpendicular,
inscription,
in phonetic hieroglyphics, giving again his name and titles, and the
names
and titles of his relations.
Around the neck thus unsheathed, was a collar of
cylindrical glass
beads,
diverse in color, and so arranged as to form images of deities, of the
Scarabæus, etc., with the winged globe. Around the small of the
waist
was
a similar collar or belt. [page 441:]
Stripping off the papyrus, we found the flesh in
excellent
preservation,
with no perceptible odor. The color was reddish. The skin was hard,
smooth,
and glossy. The teeth and hair were in good condition. The eyes (it
seemed)
had been removed, and glass ones substituted, which were very beautiful
and wonderfully life-like, with the exception of somewhat too
determined
a stare. The fingers and the nails were brilliantly gilded.
Mr. Gliddon was of opinion, from the redness of the
epidermis, that
the embalment had been effected altogether by asphaltum; but, on
scraping
the surface with a steel instrument, and throwing into the fire some of
the powder thus obtained, the flavor of camphor and other sweet-scented
gums became apparent.
We searched the corpse very carefully for the usual
openings through
which the entrails are extracted, but, to our surprise, we could
discover
none. No member of the party was at that period aware that entire or
unopened
mummies are not unfrequently met. The brain it was customary to
withdraw
through the nose; the intestines through an incision in the side; the
body
was then shaved, washed, and salted; then laid aside for several weeks,
when the operation of embalming, properly so called, began.
As no trace of an opening could be found, Doctor
Ponnonner was
preparing
his instruments for dissection, when I observed that it was then past
two
o'clock. Hereupon it was agreed to postpone the internal examination
until
the next evening; and we were about to separate for the present, when
some
one suggested an experiment or two with the Voltaic pile.
The application of electricity to a Mummy three or
four
thousand
years
old at the least, was an idea, if not very sage, still sufficiently
original,
and we all caught it at once. About one-tenth in earnest and
nine-tenths
in jest, we arranged a battery in the Doctor's study, and conveyed
thither
the Egyptian.
It was only after much trouble that we succeeded in
laying bare some
portions of the temporal muscle which appeared of less stony rigidity
than
other parts of the frame, but which, as we had anticipated, of course,
gave no indication of galvanic susceptibility when brought in contact
with
the wire. This, the first trial, indeed, seemed decisive, and, with a
hearty
laugh at our own absurdity, we were bidding each other good night, when
my eyes, [page 442:] happening to fall upon those of the Mummy,
were there
immediately
riveted in amazement. My brief glance, in fact, had sufficed to assure
me that the orbs which we had all supposed to be glass, and which were
originally noticeable for a certain wild stare, were now so far covered
by the lids, that only a small portion of the tunica albuginea
remained
visible.
With a shout I called attention to the fact, and it
became
immediately
obvious to all.
I cannot say that I was alarmed at the
phenomenon,
because "alarmed"
is, in my case, not exactly the word. It is possible, however, that,
but
for the Brown Stout, I might have been a little nervous. As for the
rest
of the company, they really made no attempt at concealing the downright
fright which possessed them. Doctor Ponnonner was a man to be pitied.
Mr.
Gliddon, by some peculiar process, rendered himself invisible. Mr. Silk
Buckingham, I fancy, will scarcely be so bold as to deny that he made
his
way, upon all fours, under the table.
After the first shock of astonishment, however, we
resolved, as a
matter
of course, upon further experiment forthwith. Our operations were now
directed
against the great toe of the right foot. We made an incision over the
outside
of the exterior os sesamoideum pollicis pedis, and thus got at
the root
of the abductor muscle. Re-adjusting the battery, we now
applied the
fluid
to the bisected nerves — when, with a movement of exceeding
life-likeness,
the Mummy first drew up its right knee so as to bring it nearly in
contact
with the abdomen, and then, straightening the limb with inconceivable
force,
bestowed a kick upon Doctor Ponnonner, which had the effect of
discharging
that gentleman, like an arrow from a catapult, through a window into
the
street below.
We rushed out en masse to bring in the
mangled
remains
of the
victim,
but had the happiness to meet him upon the staircase, coming up in an
unaccountable
hurry, brimfull of the most ardent philosophy, and more than ever
impressed
with the necessity of prosecuting our experiment with rigor and with
zeal.
It was by his advice, accordingly, that we made,
upon
the spot, a
profound
incision into the tip of the subject's nose, while the Doctor himself,
laying violent hands upon it, pulled it into vehement contact with the
wire. [page 443:]
Morally and physically — figuratively and literally
—
was the
effect
electric. In the first place, the corpse opened its eyes and winked
very
rapidly for several minutes, as does Mr. Barnes in the pantomime; in
the
second place, it sneezed; in the third, it sat upon end; in the fourth,
it shook its fist in Doctor Ponnonner's face; in the fifth, turning to
Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham, it addressed them, in very capital
Egyptian,
thus:
"I must say, gentlemen, that I am as much surprised
as I
am
mortified,
at your behavior. Of Doctor Ponnonner nothing better was to be
expected.
He is a poor little fat fool who knows no better. I pity and
forgive
him.
But you, Mr. Gliddon — and you, Silk — who have travelled and resided
in
Egypt until one might imagine you to the manor born — you, I say, who
have been so much among us that you speak Egyptian fully as well, I
think,
as you write your mother tongue — you, whom I have always been led to
regard as the firm friend of the mummies — I really did anticipate
more
gentlemanly conduct from you. What am I to think of your
standing
quietly
by and seeing me thus unhandsomely used? What am I to suppose by your
permitting
Tom, Dick, and Harry to strip me of my coffins, and my clothes, in this
wretchedly cold climate? In what light (to come to the point) am I to
regard
your aiding and abetting that miserable little villain, Doctor
Ponnonner,
in pulling me by the nose?"
It will be taken for granted, no doubt, that upon
hearing this
speech
under the circumstances, we all either made for the door, or fell into
violent hysterics, or went off in a general swoon. One of these three
things
was, I say, to be expected. Indeed each and all of these lines of
conduct
might have been very plausibly pursued. And, upon my word, I am at a
loss
to know how or why it was that we pursued neither the one nor the
other.
But, perhaps, the true reason is to be sought in the spirit of the age,
which proceeds by the rule of contraries altogether, and is now usually
admitted as the solution of everything in the way of paradox and
impossibility.
Or, perhaps, after all, it was only the Mummy's exceedingly natural and
matter-of-course air that divested his words of the terrible. However
this
may be, the facts are clear, and no member of our party betrayed any
very
particular trepidation, or seemed to consider that anything had gone
very
especially wrong. [page 444:]
For my part I was convinced it was all right, and
merely
stepped
aside,
out of the range of the Egyptian's fist. Doctor Ponnonner thrust his
hands
into his breeches' pockets, looked hard at the Mummy, and grew
excessively
red in the face. Mr. Gliddon stroked his whiskers and drew up the
collar
of his shirt. Mr. Buckingham hung down his head, and put his right
thumb
into the left corner of his mouth.
The Egyptian regarded him with a severe countenance
for
some minutes
and at length, with a sneer, said:
"Why don't you speak, Mr. Buckingham? Did you hear
what
I asked you,
or not? Do take your thumb out of your mouth!"
Mr. Buckingham, hereupon, gave a slight start, took
his
right thumb
out of the left corner of his mouth, and, by way of indemnification,
inserted
his left thumb in the right corner of the aperture above-mentioned.
Not being able to get an answer from Mr. B., the
figure
turned
peevishly
to Mr. Gliddon, and, in a peremptory tone, demanded in general terms
what
we all meant.
Mr. Gliddon replied at great length, in phonetics;
and
but for the
deficiency
of American printing-offices in hieroglyphical type, it would afford me
much pleasure to record here, in the original, the whole of his very
excellent
speech.
I may as well take this occasion to remark, that all
the
subsequent
conversation in which the Mummy took a part, was carried on in
primitive
Egyptian, through the medium (so far as concerned myself and other
untravelled
members of the company) — through the medium, I say, of Messieurs
Gliddon
and Buckingham, as interpreters. These gentlemen spoke the
mother-tongue
of the mummy with inimitable fluency and grace; but I could not help
observing
that (owing, no doubt, to the introduction of images entirely modern,
and,
of course, entirely novel to the stranger,) the two travellers were
reduced,
occasionally, to the employment of sensible forms for the purpose of
conveying
a particular meaning. Mr. Gliddon, at one period, for example, could
not
make the Egyptian comprehend the term "politics," until he sketched
upon
the wall, with a bit of charcoal a little carbuncle nosed gentleman,
out
at elbows, standing upon a stump, with his left leg drawn [page
445:] back, his right
arm
thrown forward, with his fist shut, the eyes rolled up toward Heaven,
and
the mouth open at an angle of ninety degrees. Just in the same way Mr.
Buckingham failed to convey the absolutely modern idea "whig,"
[["wig,"]] until (at
Doctor Ponnonner's suggestion,) he grew very pale in the face, and
consented
to take off his own.
It will be readily understood that Mr. Gliddon's
discourse turned
chiefly
upon the vast benefits accruing to science from the unrolling and
disembowelling
of mummies; apologizing, upon this score, for any disturbance that
might
have been occasioned him, in particular, the individual Mummy
called
Allamistakeo;
and concluding with a mere hint, (for it could scarcely be considered
more,)
that, as these little matters were now explained, it might be as well
to
proceed with the investigation intended. Here Doctor Ponnonner made
ready
his instruments.
In regard to the latter suggestions of the orator,
it
appears that
Allamistakeo
had certain scruples of conscience, the nature of which I did not
distinctly
learn; but he expressed himself satisfied with the apologies tendered,
and, getting down from the table, shook hands with the company all
round.
When this ceremony was at an end, we immediately
busied
ourselves in
repairing the damages which our subject had sustained from the scalpel.
We sewed up the wound in his temple, bandaged his foot, and applied a
square
inch of black plaster to the tip of his nose.
It was now observed that the Count, (this was the
title,
it seems, of
Allamistakeo,) had a slight fit of shivering — no doubt from the cold.
The Doctor immediately repaired to his wardrobe, and soon returned with
a black dress coat, made in Jennings' best manner, a pair of sky-blue
plaid
pantaloons with straps, a pink gingham chemise, a flapped vest
of
brocade,
a white sack overcoat, a walking cane with a hook, a hat with no brim,
patent-leather boots, straw-colored kid gloves, an eye-glass, a pair of
whiskers, and a waterfall cravat. Owing to the disparity of size
between
the Count and the doctor, (the proportion being as two to one,) there
was
some little difficulty in adjusting these habiliments upon the person
of
the Egyptian; but when all was arranged, he might have been said to be
dressed. Mr. Gliddon, therefore, gave him [page 446:] his arm,
and led him to a
comfortable
chair by the fire, while the doctor rang the bell upon the spot and
ordered
a supply of cigars and wine.
The conversation soon grew animated. Much curiosity
was,
of course,
expressed in regard to the somewhat remarkable fact of Allamistakeo's
still
remaining alive.
"I should have thought," observed Mr. Buckingham,
"that
it is high
time
you were dead."
"Why," replied the Count, very much astonished, "I
am
little more
than
seven hundred years old! My father lived a thousand, and was by no
means
in his dotage when he died."
Here ensued a brisk series of questions and
computations, by means
of
which it became evident that the antiquity of the Mummy had been
grossly
misjudged. It had been five thousand and fifty years, and some months,
since
he had been consigned to the catacombs at Eleithias.
"But my remark," resumed Mr. Buckingham, "had no
reference to your
age
at the period of interment; (I am willing to grant, in fact, that you
are
still a young man,) and my allusion was to the immensity of time during
which, by your own showing, you must have been done up in asphaltum."
"In what?" said the Count.
"In asphaltum," persisted Mr. B.
"Ah, yes; I have some faint notion of what you mean;
it
might be
made
to answer, no doubt, — but in my time we employed scarcely anything
else
than the Bichloride of Mercury."
"But what we are especially at a loss to
understand,"
said Doctor
Ponnonner,
"is how it happens that, having been dead and buried in Egypt, five
thousand
years ago, you are here to-day all alive, and looking so delightfully
well."
"Had I been, as you say, dead," replied the
Count,
"it
is more than
probable that dead I should still be; for I perceive you are yet in
the
infancy of Galvanism, and cannot accomplish with it what was a common
thing
among us in the old days. But the fact is, I fell into catalepsy, and
it
was considered by my best friends that I was either dead or should be;
they accordingly embalmed me at once — I presume you are aware of the
chief principle of the embalming process?" [page 447:]
"Why, not altogether."
"Ah, I perceive; — a deplorable condition of
ignorance!
Well, I
cannot
enter into details just now: but it is necessary to explain that to
embalm,
(properly speaking,) in Egypt, was to arrest indefinitely all
the
animal
functions subjected to the process. I use the word 'animal' in its
widest
sense, as including the physical not more than the moral and vital
being.
I repeat that the leading principle of embalment consisted, with us,
in
the immediately arresting, and holding in perpetual abeyance, all
the
animal
functions subjected to the process. To be brief, in whatever condition
the individual was, at the period of embalment, in that condition he
remained.
Now, as it is my good fortune to be of the blood of the Scarabœus, I
was
embalmed alive, as you see me at present."
"The blood of the Scarabœus!" exclaimed Doctor
Ponnonner.
"Yes. The Scarabœus was the insignium or the
'arms,' of
a very
distinguished
and very rare patrician family. To be 'of the blood of the Scarabœus,'
is merely to be one of that family of which the Scarabœus is the insignium.
I speak figuratively."
"But what has this to do with your being alive?"
"Why it is the general custom in Egypt, to deprive a
corpse, before embalment, of its bowels and brains; the race of the
Scarabœi alone
did
not coincide with the custom. Had I not been a Scarabeus, therefore, I
should have been without bowels and brains; and without either it is
inconvenient
to live."
"I perceive that;" said Mr. Buckingham, "and I
presume
that all the entire mummies that come to hand are of the race
of
Scarabœi."
"Beyond doubt."
"I thought," said Mr. Gliddon, very meekly, "that
the Scarabœus was
one of the Egyptian gods."
"One of the Egyptian what?" exclaimed the
Mummy,
starting to its
feet.
"Gods!" repeated the traveller.
"Mr. Gliddon, I really am astonished to hear you
talk in
this
style,"
said the Count, resuming his chair. "No nation upon the face of the
earth
has ever acknowledged more than one god. The Scarabœus, the
Ibis,
etc.,
were with us, (as similar creatures [page 448:] have been with
others) the symbols,
or media, through which we offered worship to the Creator too
august to
be more directly approached."
There was here a pause. At length the colloquy was
renewed by Doctor
Ponnonner.
"It is not improbable, then, from what you have
explained," said he,
"that among the catacombs near the Nile, there may exist other mummies
of
the Scarabœus tribe, in a condition of vitality?"
"There can be no question of it," replied the Count;
"all the Scarabœi
embalmed accidentally while alive, are alive. Even some of those purposely
so embalmed, may have been overlooked by their executors, and still
remain
in the tombs."
"Will you be kind enough to explain," I said, "what
you
mean by
'purposely
so embalmed'?"
"With great pleasure," answered the Mummy, after
surveying me
leisurely
through his eye-glass — for it was the first time I had ventured to
address
him a direct question.
"With great pleasure," he said. "The usual duration
of
man's life,
in
my time, was about eight hundred years. Few men died, unless by most
extraordinary
accident, before the age of six hundred; few lived longer than a decade
of centuries; but eight were considered the natural term. After the
discovery
of the embalming principle, as I have already described it to you, it
occurred
to our philosophers that a laudable curiosity might be gratified, and,
at the same time, the interests of science much advanced, by living
this
natural term in instalments. In the case of history, indeed,
experience
demonstrated that something of this kind was indispensable. An
historian,
for example, having attained the age of five hundred, would write a
book
with great labor and then get himself carefully embalmed; leaving
instructions
to his executors pro. tem., that they should cause him to be
revivified
after the lapse of a certain period — say five or six hundred years.
Resuming
existence at the expiration of this time, he would invariably find his
great work converted into a species of hap-hazard note-book — that is
to say, into a kind of literary arena for the conflicting guesses,
riddles,
and personal squabbles of whole herds of exasperated commentators.
These
guesses, etc., which passed under the name of annotations, or
emendations,
were found [page 449:] so completely to have enveloped,
distorted, and overwhelmed
the text, that the author had to go about with a lantern to discover
his
own book. When discovered, it was never worth the trouble of the
search.
After re-writing it throughout, it was regarded as the bounden duty of
the historian to set himself to work, immediately, in correcting from
his
own private knowledge and experience, the traditions of the day
concerning
the epoch at which he had originally lived. Now this process of
re-scription
and personal rectification, pursued by various individual sages, from
time
to time, had the effect of preventing our history from degenerating
into
absolute fable."
"I beg your pardon," said Doctor Ponnonner at this
point, laying his
hand gently upon the arm of the Egyptian — "I beg your pardon, sir,
but
may I presume to interrupt you for one moment?"
"By all means, sir," replied the Count,
drawing up.
"I merely wished to ask you a question," said the
Doctor. "You
mentioned
the historian's personal correction of traditions respecting
his own
epoch.
Pray, sir, upon an average, what proportion of these Kabbala were
usually
found to be right?"
"The Kabbala, as you properly term them, sir, were
generally
discovered
to be precisely on a par with the facts recorded in the un-re-written
histories
themselves; — that is to say, not one individual iota of either, was
ever
known, under any circumstances, to be not totally and radically wrong."
"But since it is quite clear," resumed the Doctor,
"that
at least
five
thousand years have elapsed since your entombment, I take it for
granted
that your histories at that period, if not your traditions, were
sufficiently
explicit on that one topic of universal interest, the Creation, which
took
place, as I presume you are aware, only about ten centuries before."
"Sir!" said the Count Allamistakeo.
The Doctor repeated his remarks, but it was only
after
much
additional
explanation, that the foreigner could be made to comprehend them. The
latter
at length said, hesitatingly:
"The ideas you have suggested are to me, I confess,
utterly novel.
During
my time I never knew any one to entertain so singular a fancy as that
the
universe (or this world if you will [page 450:] have it so,)
ever had a beginning at
all. I remember once, and once only, hearing something remotely hinted,
by a man of many speculations, concerning the origin of the human
race;
and by this individual, the very word Adam, (or Red Earth,)
which you
make
use of, was employed. He employed it, however, in a generical sense,
with
reference to the spontaneous germination from rank soil (just as a
thousand
of the lower genera of creatures are germinated) — the
spontaneous
germination,
I say, of five vast hordes of men, simultaneously upspringing in five
distinct
and nearly equal divisions of the globe."
Here, in general, the company shrugged their
shoulders,
and one or
two
of us touched our foreheads with a very significant air. Mr. Silk
Buckingham,
first glancing slightly at the occiput and then at the sinciput of
Allamistakeo,
spoke as follows:
"The long duration of human life in your time,
together
with the
occasional
practice of passing it, as you have explained, in instalments, must
have
had, indeed, a strong tendency to the general development and
conglomeration
of knowledge. I presume, therefore, that we are to attribute the marked
inferiority of the old Egyptians in all particulars of science, when
compared
with the moderns, and more especially, with the Yankees, altogether to
the
superior solidity of the Egyptian skull."
"I confess again," replied the Count, with much
suavity,
"that I am
somewhat at a loss to comprehend you; pray, to what particulars of
science
do you allude?"
Here our whole party, joining voices, detailed, at
great
length, the
assumptions of phrenology and the marvels of animal magnetism.
Having heard us to an end, the Count proceeded to
relate
a few
anecdotes,
which rendered it evident that prototypes of Gall and Spurzheim had
flourished
and faded in Egypt so long ago as to have been nearly forgotten, and
that
the manœuvres of Mesmer were really very contemptible tricks when put
in collation with the positive miracles of the Theban savans,
who
created
lice and a great many other similar things.
I here asked the Count if his people were able to
calculate
eclipses.
He smiled rather contemptuously, and said they were.
This put me a little out, but I began to make other
inquiries [page 451:] in
regard
to his astronomical knowledge, when a member of the company, who had
never
as yet opened his mouth, whispered in my ear, that for information on
this
head, I had better consult Ptolemy (whoever Ptolemy is,) as well as one
Plutarch de facie lunæ.
I then questioned the Mummy about burning-glasses
and
lenses, and,
in
general, about the manufacture of glass; but I had not made an end of
my
queries before the silent member again touched me quietly on the elbow,
and begged me for God's sake to take a peep at Diodorus Siculus. As for
the Count, he merely asked me, in the way of reply, if we moderns
possessed
any such microscopes as would enable us to cut cameos in the style of
the
Egyptians. While I was thinking how I should answer this question,
little
Doctor Ponnonner committed himself in a very extraordinary way.
"Look at our architecture!" he exclaimed, greatly to
the
indignation
of both the travellers, who pinched him black and blue to no purpose.
"Look," he cried with enthusiasm, "at the
Bowling-Green
Fountain in
New-York! or if this be too vast a contemplation, regard for a moment
the
Capitol at Washington, D. C.!" — and the good little medical man went
on to detail, very minutely, the proportions of the fabric to which he
referred.
He explained that the portico alone was adorned with no less than four
and twenty columns, five feet in diameter, and ten feet apart.
The Count said that he regretted not being able to
remember, just at
that moment, the precise dimensions of any one of the principal
buildings
of the city of Aznac, whose foundations were laid in the night of Time,
but the ruins of which were still standing, at the epoch of his
entombment,
in a vast plain of sand to the westward of Thebes. He recollected,
however,
(talking of the porticoes) that one affixed to an inferior palace in a
kind of suburb called Carnac, consisted of a hundred and forty-four
columns,
thirty-seven feet in circumference, and twenty-five feet apart. The
approach
to this portico, from the Nile, was through an avenue two miles long,
composed
of sphynxes, statues and obelisks, twenty, sixty, and a hundred feet
in
height. The palace itself (as well as he could remember) was, in one
direction,
two miles long, [page 452:] and might have been altogether,
about seven in circuit.
Its walls were richly painted all over, within and without, with
hieroglyphics.
He would not pretend to assert that even fifty or sixty of the
Doctor's
Capitols might have been built within these walls, but he was by no
means
sure that two or three hundred of them might not have been squeezed in
with some trouble. That palace at Carnac was an insignificant little
building
after all. He, (the Count) however, could not conscientiously refuse to
admit the ingenuity, magnificence, and superiority of the Fountain at
the
Bowling Green, as described by the Doctor. Nothing like it, he was
forced
to allow, had ever been seen in Egypt or elsewhere.
I here asked the Count what he had to say to our
railroads.
"Nothing," he replied, "in particular." They were
rather
slight,
rather
ill-conceived, and clumsily put together. They could not be compared,
of
course, with the vast, level, direct, iron-grooved causeways upon which
the Egyptians conveyed entire temples and solid obelisks of a hundred
and
fifty feet in altitude.
I spoke of our gigantic mechanical forces.
He agreed that we knew something in that way, but
inquired how I
should
have gone to work in getting up the imposts on the lintels of even the
little palace at Carnac.
This question I concluded not to hear, and demanded
if
he had any
idea
of Artesian wells; but he simply raised his eye-brows; while Mr.
Gliddon
winked at me very hard and said, in a low tone, that one had been
recently
discovered by the engineers employed to bore for water in the Great
Oasis.
I then mentioned our steel; but the foreigner
elevated
his nose, and
asked me if our steel could have executed the sharp carved work seen on
the obelisks, and which was wrought altogether by edge-tools of copper.
This disconcerted us so greatly that we thought it
advisable to vary
the attack to Metaphysics. We sent for a copy of a book called the
"Dial,"
and read out of it a chapter or two about something that is not very
clear,
but which the Bostonians call the Great Movement of Progress.
The Count merely said that Great Movements were
awfully
common
things
in his day, and as for Progress, it was at one time quite a nuisance,
but
it never progressed. [page 453:]
We then spoke of the great beauty and importance of
Democracy, and
were
at much trouble in impressing the Count with a due sense of the
advantages
we enjoyed in living where there was suffrage ad libitum, and
no king.
He listened with marked interest, and in fact seemed
not
a little
amused.
When we had done, he said that, a great while ago, there had occurred
something
of a very similar sort. Thirteen Egyptian provinces determined all at
once
to be free, and to set a magnificent example to the rest of mankind.
They
assembled their wise men, and concocted the most ingenious constitution
it is possible to conceive. For a while they managed remarkably well;
only
their habit of bragging was prodigious. The thing ended, however, in
the
consolidation of the thirteen states, with some fifteen or twenty
others,
in the most odious and insupportable despotism that was heard of
upon
the face of the Earth.
I asked what was the name of the usurping tyrant.
As well as the Count could recollect, it was Mob.
Not knowing what to say to this, I raised my voice,
and
deplored the
Egyptian ignorance of steam.
The Count looked at me with much astonishment, but
made
no answer.
The
silent gentleman, however, gave me a violent nudge in the ribs with his
elbows — told me I had sufficiently exposed myself for once — and
demanded
if I was really such a fool as not to know that the modern steam engine
is derived from the invention of Hero, through Solomon de Caus.
We were now in imminent danger of being discomfited;
but, as good
luck
would have it, Doctor Ponnonner, having rallied, returned to our
rescue,
and inquired if the people of Egypt would seriously pretend to rival
the
moderns in the all important particular of dress.
The Count, at this, glanced downward to the straps
of
his
pantaloons,
and then taking hold of the end of one of his coat-tails, held it up
close
to his eyes for some minutes. Letting it fall, at last, his mouth
extended
itself very gradually from ear to ear; but I do not remember that he
said
anything in the way of reply.
Hereupon we recovered our spirits, and the Doctor,
approaching the
Mummy
with great dignity, desired it to say candidly, upon its honor as a
gentleman,
if the Egyptians had comprehended, [page 454:] at any
period,
the manufacture of
either
Ponnonner's lozenges or Brandreth's pills.
We looked, with profound anxiety, for an answer; —
but
in vain. It
was
not forthcoming. The Egyptian blushed and hung down his head. Never was
triumph more consummate; never was defeat borne with so ill a grace.
Indeed,
I could not endure the spectacle of the poor Mummy's mortification. I
reached
my hat, bowed to him stiffly, and took leave.
Upon getting home I found it past four o'clock, and
went
immediately
to-bed. It is now ten A.M.
I have been up since seven, penning these
memoranda
for the benefit of my family and of mankind. The former I shall behold
no more. My wife is a shrew. The truth is, I am heartily sick of this
life
and of the nineteenth century in general. I am convinced that
everything
is going wrong. Besides, I am anxious to know who will be President in
2045. As soon, therefore, as I shave and swallow a cup of coffee, I
shall
just step over to Ponnonner's and get embalmed for a couple of hundred
years.
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